{"id":285,"date":"2017-09-01T15:27:40","date_gmt":"2017-09-01T15:27:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/?p=285"},"modified":"2018-01-19T15:29:29","modified_gmt":"2018-01-19T15:29:29","slug":"framing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/?p=285","title":{"rendered":"Framing"},"content":{"rendered":"

From the top? Okay, officers.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I weren\u2019t even anywhere <\/span>near<\/span><\/i> the bank at the time. Which bank? And when was this again? This <\/span>morning<\/span><\/i>? No, certainly not this morning. Why would I need to go to the bank so <\/span>early<\/span><\/i>? Nobody goes to the bank that early, especially not me. Besides, I don\u2019t even know which bank you\u2019re <\/span>talkin\u2019 <\/span><\/i>about.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh <\/span>that<\/span><\/i> bank? Well, if it was <\/span>that <\/span><\/i>bank, then I definitely didn\u2019t do it, didn\u2019t do nothin\u2019. Never even <\/span>been<\/span><\/i> to that bank.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My <\/span>shoes<\/span><\/i>? Oh, no, I never wear shoes. <\/span>Never<\/span><\/i>? Well, no, not <\/span>never<\/span><\/i>, but never <\/span>today<\/span><\/i>, never <\/span>this morning<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh <\/span>those shoes<\/span><\/i> – yes, well, of course I was wearing <\/span>those<\/span><\/i> shoes today. They got my name in them, look at that. Of course those\u2019re <\/span>my <\/span><\/i>shoes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No, I certainly didn\u2019t <\/span>dump<\/span><\/i> them nearby the bank! Why would I have cause to do that? Who just dumps their- y\u2019know what? I do recall something. This morning. I was walkin\u2019 down by the river, you know, <\/span>introspective<\/span><\/i>. I\u2019m an <\/span>introspective<\/span><\/i> guy. Deep thinker. Academic. Anywho, I was down by the river, yes, with my shoes on; there\u2019s mud down by the river, <\/span>wet<\/span><\/i>. This, um, <\/span>child<\/span><\/i>, like an urchin or some-such, he comes up to me and he says, <\/span>please, mister, please?<\/span><\/i> I says, <\/span>whaddaya want ya little<\/span><\/i>, um, <\/span>blessed child?<\/span><\/i> And he looks at me, says he needs \u2018em for, for, well, his aunt, <\/span>no!<\/span><\/i> His <\/span>uncle<\/span><\/i> had an interview, see. Well, you know what? It was at the bank. His uncle, this kid\u2019s uncle, had an interview at the bank, and could he maybe please <\/span>borrow<\/span><\/i> my shoes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How <\/span>old<\/span><\/i>? What? The <\/span>uncle<\/span><\/i>? I dunno, didn\u2019t say. Oh, the kid? Well, how old\u2019re kids these days? What, I gotta keep track of this kind of thing? Look, officers, I was <\/span>robbed<\/span><\/i>. Don\u2019t know what we\u2019re doing here, this kid is out there somewhere with- well, not with <\/span>my shoes<\/span><\/i>, but <\/span>he<\/span><\/i> didn\u2019t return \u2018em, no sirs. Gave him the shoes, says, <\/span>five minutes<\/span><\/i>, I wait twenty. No kid, no uncle, no shoes. I was on my way home when you fellers picked me up. Now that you have <\/span>so kindly<\/span><\/i> returned them to me, I guess I\u2019m good to go?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, what do you. What? Well, \u2018cause they\u2019re <\/span>nice shoes<\/span><\/i>. <\/span>What<\/span><\/i>? <\/span>I<\/span><\/i> like \u2018em! No holes. They ain\u2019t exactly spit-shine black like yourses boots, but they ain\u2019t <\/span>scuffed <\/span><\/i>or nothin\u2019. What, <\/span>no<\/span><\/i>! I paid for these! Yes, a-course they\u2019re mine, I wrote my name on the <\/span>inside<\/span><\/i>. Well, so\u2019s nobody confused \u2018em for their <\/span>own<\/span><\/i> shoes. <\/span>It could happen<\/span><\/i>!<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No, officers, I don\u2019t know <\/span>how<\/span><\/i> they ended up in the garbage pail. I certainly didn\u2019t put them there. How what? How did I, <\/span>well<\/span><\/i>, it was a <\/span>guess<\/span><\/i>! What else would I, would <\/span>you<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>one<\/span><\/i>, would <\/span>a person<\/span><\/i> dump<\/span><\/i> something in besides a <\/span>garbage pail<\/span><\/i>? I can\u2019t even <\/span>imagine<\/span><\/i> why a person would- what blood? Oh, <\/span>that<\/span><\/i> blood? Well, um, lemme think. Uh, maybe his uncle had a <\/span>nose bleed<\/span><\/i>?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Look, I\u2019m innocent, <\/span>see<\/span><\/i>? I\u2019ve been <\/span>framed<\/span><\/i>!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From the top? Okay, officers.   I weren\u2019t even anywhere near the bank at the time. Which bank? And when was this again? This morning? No, certainly not this morning. Why would I need to go to the bank so early? Nobody goes to the bank that early, especially not me. Besides, I don\u2019t even Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prose"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=285"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":286,"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285\/revisions\/286"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montyake.pirat.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}